Monday, September 29, 2008

Yes to God Tuesday... praise God... on Tuesday!

This is part of a book study that we are currently doing on Lelia's blog. We are reading Lisa Whittle's book Behind Those Eyes, What's really going on inside the souls of women. This book is about being real... I mean REAL... no pretending.... no charades, just real, the person that we really are. This is what I want. What is the point of pretending to be someone I am not?? It will exhaust me trying to make sure that no one "finds" me out. Guess how I know?? Because I have played the part before.

This week we are reading Chapter Two

Ms. Perfection

Lisa starts us out with the Sunday morning fake out... you know the one... you have a horrible morning trying to get everyone ready for church, argue all the way to church, and then put on a big smile and a happy voice for everyone. Pretending. Putting on a happy face. Trying to convince everyone that you are the perfect women, the perfect mom, the perfect wife, and the perfect Christian lady. But... on the inside, you know that is far from the truth.

Lisa tells a story about putting together the perfect Easter outfits for her family. Everyone is perfectly dressed. About mid-way through the service she looks down only to find a bright, royal blue ink pen mark across the front of her perfect white linen skirt. She felt as if God has said to her,

"Lisa, you can prepare and plan and anticipate things and seek perfection. But just in case you have forgotten that you are anything but perfect, let this remind you of just that."
Lisa said,

"The pen mark symbolized to me the imperfections in my life, no matter how well thought out and organized I may be.

Boy, can I relate to some imperfections!!

Lisa breaks "Ms Perfection" down for us into three different groups...

The perfect wife syndrome

Lisa said,

"Ms. Perfection really wants to be a good wife. She has all the right tools for it, and she has the willpower and desire to succeed. But in her quest for perfection, she has worked herself into a bad mood even before her husband comes home at the end of the day."

I don't think that I am that person.... but this is what happened today. I may have to rethink this.

This morning, while I wanted to blog jump and spend my day doing things that I wanted and needed to do... my husband had some things that he needed me to do. Like go to the bank, and take the computer to the doctor so that we can print up his customer's bills (something that is VERY important). After his second phone call to see if I was making progress on HIS list of things for me to do... I huffed upstairs to take a shower and get ready. Afterwards, I proceeded to try to get the computer unhooked so that I could lug it to the car. Well... one of the printer cords had made its way under the side of the computer desk... and for the life of me, I could not get it free. I called to see if my husband could hop on over to the house and help me with HIS job for me. Of course not... he was busy! About 15 minutes later and one hernia later... I finally got the cord free and both the computer and the printer to the car. I tried to call him to let him know that I had accomplished my mission. No answer. Within a few minutes he called me back to see what I needed again... I told him about the reason for my call, and he huffed at me...

"You didn't have to call me back, I told you I would call you when I finished this job".

So as I drove out of the neighborhood... I had a conversation with God.... it went like this...

ME: "Did you hear how ungrateful he is??" "I really want to be a good wife, I mean, I really do... but he sure wasn't very kind to me!"

God: "Oh, so you want credit for being a good wife to a good husband??" "Is that it??" "A good wife only if he is the good husband back" "What good is that??"

Me: "Well, no, that isn't what I meant."

God: "Really??, that is what is just sounded like."

I still don't think that I have the perfect wife syndrome... but I have found that it works best when I am real with God. I usually take His rebukes for my poor behavior better than I would if it were my husband. It brings conviction... not anger.

The Perfect Mom Syndrome

Lisa said,

"Sometimes the perfect mom syndrome causes us to fall into the comparison trap with other moms."

"After all, we have been programmed to believe that behind every perfect child is a perfect mom. And we take that role very seriously.

Well... after my past week at the middle school, I guess I have totally blown this charade. No one will buy this one from me anymore... actually I guess it has been quite a long time since I have been able to pull this one off. The thing about the comparrison trap is that we often see what others want us to see... not what is necessarily real. They are just better actors that we might be. Moving right along.....

The Perfect Package

Well... Ha! I wish this were me. Lisa says,

"The perfect package is focused on making her outside look better by any and every means necessary, which may include tweaking, nipping, tucking, pulling, stretching, bleaching, manicuring, lasering, zapping, and comouflaging. While there is nothing necessarily wrong with any of these things, there is a dangerous societal pressure that motivates the perfect package to seek these procedures."

"The perfect package first needs to feel perfect in order for her to sell others on it. And it's become a full-time job."

I wish that I would do something about my lack of the perfect package. But... what can I say,?? I love chocolate. And our finances will keep me from the nipping and tucking until I am too old to care. But I will admit... for the sake of being real... that I am jealous of the ones that do what it takes to be closer to the perfect package. My spirit is weak... and my flesh is even weaker.

The letter that Lisa included at the end of the chapter from her high school friend spoke volumes to me... her friend said that after a lifetime of trying to be perfect she has finally come to a place where she can be herself.... she said,

"Now I strive for obedience- and I bring all my flaws to Him."

God wants my flaws. He wants to use them to show his greatness. I want him to use them for His glory... because honestly... they aren't doing me any good. So... by all means, I will let God use them for someone else's good... HIS.

Want to check out what others thought and learned from this chapter?? Click here.

Also... disclaimer... no time to proofread .... I am at work with no computer at home. post signature


Jill said...

Hey Lynn, I enjoyed reading your words and once again what a wonderful chapter. I appreciate your honesty and loved how you wrapped it all up. What a great reminder - He can and will use our flaws, if we'd only let Him. Thanks for encouraging me to do just that!

Kennisha Hill said...

Hi Lynn,

First I thank you so much for visiting my blog. Faith Elaine is so wonderful and a huge blessing in her blogs- I'm glad you came by and please don't be a stranger!

Your blog is awesome and your post today was certainly "on time" for me. I know I have to seek God daily about being the wife he wants me to be for my hubby. We have our "moments". My hubby is so quiet- I can certainly be the fiesty one at times. But God is definitely helping me with that!

I was really encouraged! Thanks so much for sharing this today!

Have a blessed day in the Lord!


Darlene said...

again, thanks for getting real! I love your story about your husband. It rang so true for me, too. Man, does God get us in this area!

This chapter was a convicting one for me!!


Paula (SweetPea) said...

I can totally relate how when God corrects us on our actions/behaviors it brings conviction but if another person does, it brings anger. Why is that? Let's hope that we are in tune to God more often about this particular situation so that we can hear HIS conviction before we hear it from another...thus preventing the anger all together.

Thanks for sharing.
I have my post up now.

Laura said...

Your conversation with God regarding your hubs sounds familiar...:) I just wish I could be that Melanie Wilkes kind of giver--you know, never caring if I get anything back? Just giving because its the right thing to do? Sigh. Not. Perfect. A. Work. In. Progress.
that's me.
i guess that's all of us.

Lelia Chealey said...

Oh, I've had those days with my husband too. Poor Gene, to think I'm his lifetime helpmate. :)

This is going to be a great book that will change our lives if we allow it too.

Tammy R said...

Great thoughts.

I loved the conversation with God you had, I've had those somewhat same talks.

I prayed for years,12 to be exact,to have that perfect husband so I could be the perfect wife:)

Thanks for opening up your life, it's so real!

Pamela (MrsJoeB) said...

I love how you ended you posrt with "God wants my flaws. He wants to use them to show his greatness. I want him to use them for His glory... because honestly... they aren't doing me any good. So... by all means, I will let God use them for someone else's good... HIS."
Awesome!! It speaks my heart.
Thanks for sharing!

In His Graces~Pamela

Naomi said...

I can relate to your story and had to have a little laugh, cos I always feel like I get a bit of a dressing down by God when I get cranky/angry at my Husband... Hope you do get that time to yourself soon to do your 'thing'. Blessings. Naomi

Carol said...

Hi Lynn,

I appreciated your post. Boy and did that story with your hubby ring true to me.

How many times can I admit to, being annoyed by having to do something that he needs me to do, because I have something I want to do.

Hehe your not alone. I'm so glad that I don't have to be perfect with God, or my husband. It's such a weight off my shoulders.

Lisa said...

I love that even though you may not at first see yourself in a role, you are willing to talk to God about it and consider that He may want to speak to you about it in some way. Praise God for your openness to His truth in your life!
Keep pursuing it with your whole heart, my friend!

I prayed for you by name tonight!

Lisa :)

Pat's Tuesday said...

I loved your story about your husband even though I don't have a husband I could relate. I have gotten where sometimes i take a day off and don't tell anyone because I want some down time. If I tell people then there is always something they want me to do for them or with them when I am off. I will do anything in my power for my friends and family and they know it, so if they find out later that I was off and didn't let them know, I just say I needed some me time and the're ok with it. Why can't I be upfront and tell that when they ask me for something instead? Ms. Perfection I guess.

Anyway I loved your conversation with God. How he loves to gently (or sometimes not so gently) that our way of thinking or doing is flawed. We are all going to be new women in Christ when this study is over, not perfect women but better

Pat's Tuesday said...

Ok my Ms. perfection is showing, I hate that you can't edit your comment before posting. I meant to say "How he loves to gently (or sometimes not so gently) remind us that...flawed