Yes to God Tuesday... on Thursday again

This is part of a book study going on over on Lelia's blog. This is our first week... so if being REAL is something that interests you... or if you feel like God is calling you to stop pretending.... why not join us?? We are currently reading and studying Lisa Whittle's book called Behind Those Eyes, what's really going on inside the souls of women. This is a subject that is very dear to my heart. I want to not only be real before God, but to be real before others so that they can see God's power.

Chapter One The Truth Hurts

I can remember sitting with a group of women in a Bible study... they all seemed so perfect and put together. They invited me to go to a Women Of Faith conference with them. While we were there... I remember one girl in particular, she talked about her struggle with post partum depression... she even admitted that she had an abortion earlier in her life. I just stood there. I also struggled with post-partum depression... only... it never went away. I listened for a long time... waiting and watching for everyone else's reaction. I couldn't believe it when they responded in love. Later that same year... she stood up in front of our church on "Right to Life" Sunday and announced to the whole church that she had an abortion. She talked about the struggle that went on afterwards. She talked about her desire to use that horrible decision to help others keep from making the same choice. I was amazed. I had spent years thinking that Christians were suppose to be "perfect", or "better than that". And if you weren't... well... you needed to keep it to yourself so that no one would know. That way... you wouldn't have to worry about being rejected or judged. I mean after all.... we want to be liked and accepted.

Then, I can remember going to a women's conference with a new friend just about a year ago. Chonda Pierce gave her testimony about her recent struggle with depression. She was very candid. She made a joke about no one being able to pry her anti-depressants out of her hand. I just sat there. The next morning as my new friend and I sat waiting on the conference to start... one of us made a comment about what Chonda had said about her anti-depressants... it must have been her... because I remember saying... "I feel that same way." She just looked at me and asked me if I took anti-depressants... only to then confess that she did too . We laughed at the fact that at the hotel the night before, we both took our medicine in privacy. At that very moment.... things changed in my heart about being real. We both shared the same struggle... yet we had kept it to ourselves. We weren't using our struggle for God's glory. We went on to talk about hiding things from others. We both admitted that there was something in both of our lives that we would just die is someone else found out about. Shame... isn't that the enemies game??? After much beating around the bush... I confessed mine to her. She didn't even fall out of her chair. She didn't even get up and go sit somewhere else. She still let me ride home with her. After that day... our relationship changed. She knows exactly who I am and what I struggle with. And I know who she is and what she struggles with. We are real. Not fake. Being real has spilled over into most of my other relationships as well.


Lisa said,

"... we as women, often lead others to believe we are someone other than who we really are."

"We cover our weaknesses and heartaches with immaculately groomed clothes and manufactured conversations. We impersonate the females we want to be-- carefree, fun loving, deeply spiritual, genuinely caring, supportive, capable, strong, assertive, put together, and ridiculously happy- rather than the women we really are."


Wow!! How true is that??

Lisa offers a small reason why we may do this,

"We lack honesty and authenticity, and our past experiences lead us to believe it is in our best interest to keep our true feelings hidden"

Lisa says,

"Make no mistake about it: women are yearning for something real. We're hungry for truth and authenticity. We crave honesty."

... until we find it, we will have to be currently satisfied with looking perfect, appearing happy, portraying confidence, and sounding spiritual to make ourselves feel better and get more people to love us. Lisa actually used the word "she" instead of "us" and "we" in the above statement... but I think that we so perfectly fit into that sentence.

I think that if we are all hiding behind a "perfect" mask... all the time dying inside... we are not only hurting ourselves and the people around us... We are breaking God's heart too. He longs to display His power and love through us... the real world needs to see a REAL God make a difference in other real peoples lives.

I cannot wait to continue in this study... next week we will look at "Ms. Perfection". Anybody??

And... I just have to add, maybe I should go ahead and read the chapter on Ms. Perfection since I will be leaving to go for a teacher conference about my middle school aged daughter in just a few minutes. The enemy has taken every single opportunity to remind me of what a terrible parent I am... that is why my child is disrespectful. I guess it will be a little hard for me to go in and portray Ms. Perfection, huh??

AND

when she got out of the car today at school, I said, "just pretend like you like them." "you can pretend that you are trying out for a part in a play... being the "good" student." "Smile... do not let them know that you are angry about anything!!"

What??? Did I just give my daughter permission to be fake?? I guess I did.... I do believe that they are some times that you need to keep your real feelings to yourself. Like when the principal asks you what you think of him.... It is best not to answer, "I don't think I need to answer that right now". Arghhhh! Especially when you just told him that you do not like your new school... or your teachers.
What was the title of this chapter??? The Truth Hurts.... and it does.