A picture only a mom could love...

I just had to share this with all of you...

In case you didn't already know... we homeschool. My oldest son will graduate this year. Our church always has a graduation celebration for the graduates. They asked me to bring in some pictures of Jason through the years so that they could create a video to show that Sunday morning. When I started looking for current pictures, I realized that there were NONE. SO... I had to send Jason to get his picture made yesterday. We have a great place in our area called Portrait Innovations and they take the pictures, you choose the ones that you want, and they print them in a matter of minutes. A done deal. One stop shopping. My kind of store.

Anyway... I wasn't able to go with him because I had to stay over at work for a renewal CPR class... so I sent my mother. Remember her.... she is the one with the dog that gets eggs and sausage from breakfast. Well... not only did she spend more than my desired $9.95 package... well just look at pictures yourself... He TOOK THE PICTURES WITH HIS HAT ON. Not only that... pay attention to the hat... there are two different hats. He went with the sole desire to not only wear his hat... but to change his hat.

My first response was horror. I couldn't believe that he would do that. But quickly God reminded me of who my son really is. MY BOY... He wears his hat all the time. He would die if you knew I told this... but he wears it in the bed at night while he watches TV. Sometimes he even falls asleep with it on. So... why does it really matter?? It doesn't. These pictures look just like him. No one will ever be able to look at these and say... that really doesn't portray who he is. Only a mother that loves her son dearly would love these pictures. Actually, now that I think of it... I am glad that he did it. He stayed true to himself. Something that I really try to do. Being Real.

In the Minority

First off... let me say, this is the third time that I have typed this. For whatever reason, it wouldn't post the first two times. I hope the third time is the charm.

I heard something on Sunday that really troubles me. My Pastor's message was entitled "Where is the Transformation?'. When someone receives Christ and the Holy Spirit takes up residence within them... there should be some evident changes. From the inside out. He used lots of statistics from "self-proclaimed" christians.

One statistic stated that over 50% of christians are satisfied with their spiritual lives. They like things the way they are... wanting no more.

"What??"

Please let me say... "that is not me". I so want to know Christ more. I want to grow in my relationship with Him. I long to be closer to Him. I cannot imagine not wanting more of Christ. The prophet Isaiah tells us that the Lord declares, "You are my witnesses, my chosen servant whom I have chosen, so that you may know and believe me." (43:10) Again, in the book of Jeremiah the Lord says, " I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the Lord". (24:7). God desires that we know Him. And I want to take Him up on that offer.

In the dictionary, the word "know" means, to understand by fact or truth, to fix in the mind, to understand by experience, and to apprehend with clarity and with certainty. That sounds like something that I want. To understand God by fact or truth, to have it fixed in my mind, to understand Him by my experiences with Him, and to grasp Him with clarity and certainty.

So... I am in the minority ?? Come to think of it, I must be in the minority of the minority. But, you know what ?? I am mighty glad I am!! He is a mighty God... and I want to know Him more.

A Heart Transplant...

Well... what a huge difference 24 hours can make. BUT... actually the change took less than 24 hours... it was in a matter of minutes. Yesterday... I allowed the enemy to use my situation to take me down a road that I didn't want to be on. After pouring out my heart to the Lord, and then to your poor ears... then to my husband when he came home... I allowed God to take control of my heart and mind. And therein lies the transplant or transformation. Did my situation change?? No, the phone service is still turned off... but hey... that keeps the people from calling. Is there more money in my bank account?? No, but the balance of my heart is different. Did we win the lottery?? No, we don't even buy tickets. So... what made the difference?? God. He longs to change us... not necessarily our situation... but US. We just have to be yielded.

This dramatic change reminded me of the story of Peter's mother-in-law in Mark 1:30-31. She was sick in the bed with a fever (I was heart-sick). Someone told Jesus about her situation ( I told him about my heart... and many others lifted me up in prayer to Him), So he came to her, took her hand and helped her up. Now... that is exactly what happened to me. He came to me and took my heart in His hands and made it better. I tell you the truth. I know the few minutes span that He healed my heart of its ailment. My husband's arms were around me too. He didn't change the facts of my situation.... just made a change in my heart. Thank you to all of you that prayed for me. I felt the your intercession.

Now... in the Bible, in the story of Peter's mother-in-law... when her fever left her, she got up and began to serve them. So.... Here I am.

I want to tell you how much God cares about our heartaches.... how much God cares about our pain.... how much God cares about what happens to His children. He changed me... not my situation. Oh... how much I love Him. He cares more about me than my situation. And in turn... this makes me care more about Him than I do about my situation. Do I still care about my situation?? Oh yea!! BUT... today it is not clouding my heart like it did yesterday. Now... does God care about my situation?? Oh yea, but not as much as He cares about me. You see... I remember that my situation is for my deliverance. In allowing this situation... God is changing me. God's desire for me is to be like His Son.... not happy and trial-free. So "I will be content with such things as I have, for HE himself has said, I will never leave you nor forsake you". (Hebrews 13:5) So I have a lot of serving to do today... I must get started.

Have a God Day.... He loves you and me like no one else can

Where in the world am I ??

Have you read the story in Mark 9:14-29 ?? This is the story of a boy who is possessed by an evil spirit... his dad brings him to the disciples to have them cast out the evil spirit but they can't do it. When Jesus shows up on the scene... the dad explains his son's situation to Jesus and then says the words, "if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us". Jesus answers him by saying, "IF YOU CAN", (my emphasis) "Everything is possible for him who believes." To which the dad says that craziest statement I have ever heard....

" I do believe, help me overcome my unbelief".

I can tell you that I think that is a crazy statement.... BUT that is exactly where I am sitting today. How can that be?? How can I believe... and still have unbelief?? Doesn't that sound like a contradiction??

Let's see..... right now my family is facing some very hard circumstances, financially. My husband started his own business several years back. He also maintained a regular job... one that brought home a paycheck every week. He went into a sizable amount of debt to start this business... but he brought in enough from his business to pay for the business. SO.... about a year and a half ago... the company that my husband had worked for closed down. He had been there for over 23 years. No type of payment, no retirement, no severance package.... just closed the door. We thanked God at the time for leading my husband to start this other business so that he had something to fall back on. We are still thankful. BUT... with the loss of his other full-time income.... we are really struggling to make it. After almost 2 years... it has hit it's peak. But this is not the point to my story.........


For the past two years I have trusted God about this. I have had peace about it. I have been able to find comfort in the fact that God had allowed this... and we had something to learn. BUT TODAY.... I am suddenly sitting in a pit of unbelief. I hate to admit it. I don't want to be here. I am tired of this situation. I don't know how much more I can take.... and just so you know..... I have poured this all out to my Father before I am pouring it out to you.... (for what reason... I do not really know... I don't even know most of you... maybe this isn't for you at all... but for me) But today... I just can't seem to get over it. My heart is heavier than it has been in a long time. I am so overwhelmed that I can't seem to look past the situation. I am feeling defeated and forgotten.

So I sat down this morning and pondered all of this... How can I not trust God on this ?? With all the things that I know about Him.... how can I feel this way?? So I started a list of things that I do believe... here are some of them...

I do believe that God loves me.
I do believe that God has my best interest at heart.
I do believe that God cares for my family more than I ever could.
I do believe that God can work good out of every bad thing that I allow Him to have.
I do believe that God CAN do something about this situation.
I do believe that if it is in God's will... HE will do something about this.
I do believe God is faithful.
I do believe that God takes care of His people.
I do believe that God knows my needs
I do believe that it pains God to have to watch His children hurt.
I do believe that God speaks through His Word and His people.

So I went back to a verse that God has shown me several months back. Philippians 1:18b-20...

Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and the help given by the Spirit of Jesus Christ, what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance. I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death.

When I read that back then... I knew that God was speaking it over me. I knew that what ever happened to us would be to deliver us from something that God couldn't use. Whether it be pride, materialism, or whatever.... It was FOR us... not to us. So what is my problem now?? Why can't I seem to live out on this day what He told me then?? How can I believe and have unbelief at the same time??

I will have to choose to trust God. Sometimes it is more about a choice than a feeling.

This may not be what you were hoping for today... it wasn't what I was hoping for either. I am just being real. I hope that you can handle that from me. I guess the title of my blog is more true today than the days before... I am somewhere in the middle.... not where I was.... not where God wants to take me.... not the finished product yet. BUT... I do want to go... I am putting on my shoes and I am going to start walking this out.... with my Father. I am going to walk until I hit the other side.

And just in case you are wondering... I do feel a little better.

Another Reason that God is SO Good...

If you read my post from last night... this will tickle you.... if not.... you probably won't get it, so scroll down and start there first.


This morning I decided to call my friend and warn her about my post about her. She didn't answer, so I just left her a message.... about 30 minutes later, my phone rang...

She said, " Let me tell you another reason that I know that God is so good...."

I said, " okay, let's hear it...."

She said, " you think that I am only 35.... girl, I will be 38 on my birthday. See, God is so Good!!"

I busted out laughing. God really is so Good. She was humbled by my post... and your comments. She just doesn't see this in herself. BUT... the rest of us do. What an inspiration.

The faith of others... and mine

I received a phone call today from a friend. Let me give you a little background on her... she has served the Lord through infertility, one wonderful adoption, a failed adoption, another failed adoption, a precious adoption of twin boys... only to lose one of them about a week or so after the adoption, the burial of that precious little boy, and the most recent... colon cancer. ALL by the ripe old age of 35. When I answered the phone, she said " I called to see if you know how GOOD God is ??... " "I'm sure you do... but I just want to tell you how good He is." She proceeded to tell me about the doctor changing her chemo, and now she only had one or two bad days.... not a week or two of bad days. She said that a friend from church had delivered pizza to her family for supper on Friday... she felt so bad that she couldn't even get off the couch. Within just a few hours of that.... she felt so much better. When she drove herself to church on Sunday... she saw her friend and asked if she had prayed for her when she left.... Her friend told her that she had prayed all the way home. She said... " I know that is what made me feel better.... I won't give this new chemo the credit.... I know it was God, and I am going to give Him the glory".

Her faith has amazed me over the years. I have watched her have her heart broken over and over. I have watched her bury a little boy that she so desperately wanted. I am now watching her go through colon cancer, surgery, and chemo. BUT I have never watched her waiver in her faith. NEVER. She is a solid rock... standing on THE Solid Rock. I only hope that I can shine for the Lord in troubled times like she has.

I started thinking about some of the reasons that I KNOW that God is good....

*** He used a painful time in my life to call me into a relationship with Him. God is so Good.

*** During a difficult time in my marriage, He restored my love for my Husband... and it continues to grow. God is so Good.

***He has given me so many opportunities to study His Word, to learn about Him, and to serve Him... to despite who I am without Him. God is so Good.

** He has so changed the desires of my heart... changing the things that I want and the way that I see things. God is so Good.

*** He has blessed me with a home that I can open to others to study His Word. AND... then He blessed me with my Tuesday night group. God is so Good.

*** He watches over my nearly 18 year old son as he drives... and I am sure that is no easy job. God is so Good.

** I have had the opportunity to home school for the last 6 years... the time spent with my children has blessed me so. Time I will never forget. God is so Good.

** He has also given me the peace and trust to follow His leading to send them to public school this coming year... despite my reasons to distrust... I have His peace. God is so Good.

** He has given me His peace in the middle of a huge financial crisis that continues to swirl around my family. God is so Good.

** He has put so many people in my life that encourage me in my walk with Him. God is so Good.

** He has blessed me with two daughters.... very different... but both mean the world to me. God is so Good.

** He has the desire to use me... to despite all of ME. Wow... God is so GOOD.


Hebrews 12:1b-2 "Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."

I am going to continue to run the race... doing my very best to keep my eyes on Jesus. Because God is so Good. And He has been sooooo good to ME.

One sick little puppy... or is it more ?

My mom's dog is sick. She noticed a couple days ago that he wasn't eating like he should. He stopped playing hard like he usually does. He wouldn't even eat for my daughter... which is crazy.... because they are the very best of friends. Yesterday he threw up. (sorry... if you have a weak stomach) and today he threw up again. ( that was the last time....I promise) So... at my youngest daughters urging ... off to the vet they went this morning. As it turns out.... he has a weak stomach as well. He had some pork still just sitting in his stomach ... and not digesting. (now, who would give their dog sausage for breakfast besides a 70 years old woman??) To top it off... he is greedy when it comes to his raw-hide bones... so he chews off big pieces and swallows them just in case we decide we want him to share with us. (never....) And they are just sitting there as well. So... now he is sick. My daughter was heartbroken that they decided to keep him at the vet's office for a few days. Hopefully... he will bounce back soon. But... of course now... he has new food rules... no pork, no raw-hide, and no people food, (there go the eggs and sausage for breakfast...).

He had no idea that what he was putting inside of himself would make himself sick. It seemed innocent enough.

Don't we do the same thing?? Watch a little bit of this, watch a little bit of that, listen to some gossip, listen to some crude jokes, read a little of this, and a little bit of that.... and before we know it... we're sick... in our hearts and minds. At the beginning... we think... this really isn't a big deal. I know what is right and what is wrong. But as time goes on... our vision gets a little cloudy. Our hearts get a little harder and a little colder. Before too long, we aren't eating from God's Word anymore on a regular basis, We aren't serving as usual... and well... as far as throwing up... ( I promised, didn't I?? Sorry) our flesh does begin to "throw out there" what we have put in. I have heard it said so many times before.... "Garbage in, Garbage out". And it is true. We can't put garbage in and expect the fruit of the Spirit to come out. We can't put gossip in... and expect grace and mercy to come out. We can't watch TV shows that make light of sin and living an ungodly lifestyle and not expect our standards to get a little watered down.

Paul warns us in Romans 12:1-2, "Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God-- this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of the world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-- his good, pleasing and perfect will."

The only way to be transformed is to renew our minds. To fill it with God's Truth. So... we need to stay in God's Word and stay in constant communication with God. Only He can transform our minds and hearts. One prayer I often pray comes from Psalm 51:10...

"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

I want to put God's Word in... and praise come out. I want to put God's Word in... and grace and mercy come out. I want to put God's Word in... and compassion and love come out. I want to put God's Word in and my life be changed. What about you... what do you expect to come out of what you are putting in??

Excess = Emptiness

This "quote" has been bugging me for a few days now... "everything we do in excess is in response to an emptiness". I had never thought about it before... but I have, the last few days. God keeps bringing it back to my memory. I guess there is something (or more likely... many things) I am doing in excess that needs my attention, so that I can give it to His attention. Don't worry... I didn't have to ponder long to come up with a long list of things that I do in excess to fill up an emptiness that I didn't even realize that I had.

God longs to fill up every empty place that we have. That is why in John 4:10 , He calls himself "Living Water". Think about it.... you can fill up with "things" or "people" but the only thing that will go into every little crack and crevice between those "things" and "people" would be a liquid... like water. Picture it. It is true. No matter what you could put into a vase to fill it up.... nothing would fill every single little part except a liquid. One of the properties of a liquid is that is takes on the shape of what it is poured into. (example taken from Beth Moore)

The woman at the well was trying to fill up the emptiness within her with men. Jesus knew that. He confronted her with that fact when he asked her to go call her husband. He knew that she had already had 5 husbands and now had another man that was not her husband. He wanted her to face her emptiness. He wants the same with me. He wants the same with all of us.

I took some time to look us scriptures that talk about being filled. Most of them spoke of a filling that could only come from God. Filled with joy, filled with the glory of the Lord, filled with the Spirit of God, filled with the fruit of righteousness.... all of them come from Him. Why would we go somewhere else to be filled?? Why would I go somewhere else to be filled??

Paul's prayer in Romans 15:13...
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

Now that is a filling that I want in excess.....

Remember that God loves you like no one else.

Extreme Blog Makeover....

Whew!! Yes, you are on the right blog. Thanks to Jennisa at Once Upon a Blog, I have had an extreme blog makeover. This is even better than I dreamed. And I didn't even have to go away for 3 months, exercise myself to death, or recover from surgery.... She did all the work... and now I look great !! Thanks again, Jannisa !!

God is in the process of giving me an extreme makeover. It is a lifelong makeover. It all started when I realized my sinfulness and asked Christ to save me. He forgave my sins and sent His Holy Spirit to live inside of me. AND the work began. II Corinthians 5:17 says that if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, the old has gone, the new has come. (If this is news to you... please contact me and I will tell you how you can become a new creature. ) One of my favorite verses in Philippians (Chapter 1, verse 6) tells me that if God started a good work in me that He will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. SO... therefore, I know it will be a lifelong makeover. Little by little... God shows me areas of my life that need to be changed... and then He starts the changing. and believe me... sometimes this is quite painful. But, it is always worth it. I long to be like Jesus. I can't wait til my Final Reveal.

Remember, no one loves you like God does,

l

What do we really "want" ??

The other night, my daughter had a friend to spend the night. It was her idea. She asked for this other girl to spend the night. By the time they spent all evening together, and slept the night together, and began playing the next morning... things weren't really going like my daughter had hoped. They had begun to have a few "differences of opinion". One wanted to play inside, the other wanted to play outside. One wanted breakfast, the other was ready to start playing. Finally, the friend decided to go outside by herself. I watched my daughter sit in the recliner with such a sad look on her face. Things were not going like she had hoped.... and they were her plans.

I thought about all of the times that God has allowed me to have "what I wanted". All the times that, after I got it... I wondered "why in the world did I want this??" Not that my daughter didn't enjoy having her friend over.... it just started my thought process. SO.... please don't misunderstand... my daughter didn't feel like she made the wrong choice having her friend over. I just got to thinking as I watched her.

We find out from Jeremiah 17:9, " the heart is deceitful above all things". We can't trust our feelings. We can't trust our wants. We can't trust our heart. It will lead us astray. The only fix for our desires comes from Psalm 37: 4, " Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart". The difference is, that when we truly delight ourselves in the Lord... His desires will become our desires. We will begin to want what He wants. The things that please Him will begin to please us.

Delight ourselves in the Lord.... how do we do that??? The dictionary says that delight means, "great pleasure; joy, someone or something that gives great pleasure or enjoyment, to please greatly". I get the greatest pleasure and enjoyment from my family when I spend time with them. When I sit and talk with them. When I listen to them. The same with God.... I won't delight in Him without spending time with Him, talking to Him, and listening to Him. The more that I know my Lord... the more I delight in Him.

Knowing God. My life goal. That is what I really WANT.

God loves you like no one else can....
Lynn

Name Change

I changed my name... well, not MY name, but my blogs name. I heard this song by Casting Crowns that talked about being in the middle of who I used to be and who I am going to be when God completes His work in glory.... and I thought... that is it!! That is where I am. Somewhere in the Middle.

Remember, God loves you like no body else can.
Lynn

Loving my little bunch!!

Tonight was Bible study night. I have looked forward to it all week. I start on Wednesdays thinking... well, it will be a while before we meet again. By Thursdays, I am thinking.. I have to work tonight and Friday... it won't be long now. By Saturday, I am looking forward to church on Sunday morning. Mondays, I am thinking.... I work tonight and then it is time for Bible study again. All day on Tuesdays... my heart is just busting for the ladies to show up. What a blessing they are to me.

We have grown so much since we started in October. Closer to the Lord and to one another. I look forward to what God has planned for my little bunch.

Tonight, we looked at the Measureless Love of God. (okay... you know it was Beth Moore) Of all the things that are so perfectly measured in the Word of God (the creation of the heavens and the earth, the tabernacle, the ark, the New Jerusalem, etc) He himself tells us that His love for us is measureless. (Ephesians 3:17b-19) This love surpasses knowledge. WOW! He knows the number of my days, the number of hairs on my head... but His love for ME, for YOU, is measureless... it surpasses knowledge. What an amazing thought. Unconditional Love. Nothing that I have done or nothing that I can do, will change His love for Me, and for YOU. Don't just let that pass over you, stop and think about it. Is there anyone else in your life that you can say that about?? Even my parents, my husband, or my children... I know that there are things that could alter their love for me... BUT not my God. It surpasses knowledge.

I choose to take that to the bank. I choose to let that change the way I feel and see things. What about you?? What will you do with it?? Read it for yourself.... please, don't take it from me. Stand on the Truth.

Lynn

What Time Is It ?????

This morning started out early. I woke up in my daughter's bed and read the clock... 7:01am. It still looked dark outside... so I got up to investigate. After getting downstairs, I realized that it was only 5:15am. Then, I remembered... the power went off yesterday afternoon, and I forgot to check her clock to make sure it was reset correctly. The fact that I was in her bed is a whole "nuther story". But, it has nothing to do with my precious husband sleeping our bedroom.

Well... I was downstairs now, wide awake, so I sat down with my Bible in our regular spot. It is usually just later in the day. I worked through my 90 days with Jesus devotional by Beth Moore. Had a great prayer time, where I journaled as I went. Then I picked up my current workbook study, Breaking Free. Okay... it is Beth Moore too. And I have officially declared my addiction. We were examining God's right to rule, and that God's rule is right. This passage was mind-blowing.... I just had to share it...

"If only we could realize that we make life so much more complicated when our approach to life is "all about me". Do you know why?? Because the rest of the world never cooperates. No one else appears to have gotten the memo. When we see ourselves as the center of the universe, we live in constant frustration because the rest of creation refuses to revolve around us." She led us to Isaiah 40:12-28. Then she says, "Sometimes what we need to cure our fat egos is a strong dose of God. Long before a certain visionary "discovered" the earth was round, God sat enthroned above the circle of the earth. Long before men were so "enlightened", God formed the light and the darkness. Long before the first billion dollars was invested in exploring space, God's own hands stretched out the heavens. Long before there was a "beginning", God had already planned the end."

Okay.... now how about those apples?? God's whole purpose is to perfect us to His glory. Life would be so much more simple if we would JUST COOPERATE!!

Now that I have had a wonderful 3 hours with the Lord... I am thinking that the clock might just read the correct time when I head back upstairs. I no longer think that I got up at the wrong time. What do you think??

But, I do have to work all night tonight... so back upstairs I head for a little more sleep.

Have a great day... In Him,
Lynn

Big Girl Dinners and Failed Plans

Tonight, the little group of women that meet at my house for Bible study on Tuesday nights went out for what we called "a big girl dinner". You know... moms don't get a lot of time to just be "big girls". We decided on Olive Garden. One of my very favorites. It is much easier to go to a nice restaurant when you only have to pay for one persons meal. When I take my family of 5, it can break the bank. We laughed and talked and laughed and talked some more.

What a blessing this little group has been to me. When God laid it on my heart to do a home Bible study.... I made my plans and proceeded. God is so much about his plan and not ours. Things just didn't work out like I planned. Most of the people that I invited couldn't make it. So... with just one neighbor and one friend from Sunday School we started. My neighbor soon invited her sister-in-law. You know what is really funny.... now after all of this time, my neighbor admitted to me that she looked for excuses at the beginning so that she wouldn't have to come. Now she can't wait to get here on Tuesday nights. She received the Lord as her Savior about a month or two ago. The sister-in-law has testified about how much her life has changed since we started. The friend from Sunday School has become a really dear friend to me. As it turns out.... God had the plan. God brought the ladies that needed to come. God's plan was by far better than mine. I know that He has to get a kick out of us. He has to just laugh out loud at us sometimes. I praise Him for what He is doing in this little group. We just finished up one series (OF COURSE IT WAS A BETH MOORE STUDY) and we will be doing a few short series from her "Wednesdays with Beth" over the next month.... BUT in May.... We are going to start our first "homework" study by Beth Moore. I can't wait to see what God has planned for this.

Have a great Day... and remember God loves you like no one else does