Wednesday, June 25, 2008

The Green Eyed Monster...

I know that jealousy is wrong. I don't want to be jealous. I try not to be jealous. But... it has crept up on me and taken up residence in my heart.

It all started when I realized that many of the blogging siestas were going to meet at a Beth Moore conference in August. I reasoned out that it was a long way to go from South Carolina... but I couldn't help looking into airline tickets, hotels, and rental cars for the weekend. I told myself that if I started saving now... I could probably do it. BUT then... I realized that I would have to fly out on the first day of school for my children. Now... that doesn't seem like a lot... but we have homeschooled for the last 6 years. My oldest daughter has been at home since second grade and my youngest has never been to school. And... believe me, it is a BIG deal. So... there went that. I resigned myself to the fact that I couldn't go... and anyway, I am going to the Simulcast in Boone, NC at the beginning of August. Okay... so maybe I could get over the jealousy thing...

Well... it appears that I have missed one of the most exciting conferences around last weekend... right in my back door... Charlotte, NC. I live so close to Charlotte... as a matter of fact... I work in Charlotte. I had no idea that so many blogging friends were so close. I have spent the last couple days reading about how wonderful God was at the conference. How much fun the ladies had... even on a $60 cab ride. My jealousy is in full rage. I hate that I missed such a wonderful, God Time.

And... to think that if a few short months... I will have to read (yes, I will HAVE to read it) about the Siesta Fiesta. Ugghhhhhh!!! I can't stand it.

But... in all honesty... I will love hearing about it. I know that God is going to show up at the Simulcast too. I hope that there will be some blogging sisters there too. My little Tuesday night Bible study group is going together. I can't wait. I have heard testimonies from people that have attended a simulcast in the past... and they said it was just as great as being there. I will have to trust them on this until at least August.

If you have read my blog before... you might already know how much I love my little Tuesday night group. We meet at my house to study. We started out meeting from 6-7:30pm. Last night... it was 9:30pm before they left. We have such a great time getting into God's Word. We laughed so hard a few weeks ago at one of the stories that Beth told... we hit rewind a few times and laughed until our sides ached. It was about loosing skittles.... does that mean anything to anyone?? A great story. I bet if I were to tell all of the fun that we have.... some of you might be jealous too. BUT... I will try to keep some of it to myself, since jealousy is a sin and all.

I guess that I will just have to take my jealousy to the Lord. It's not like He doesn't know it anyway. So... off I go... to spend some time with my Father. He is just the one to kill the green eyed monster that has taken up residence in my heart... well... after thinking of my little Tuesday night group... my heart isn't quite so green after all.


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8 comments:

The Butterfly Catcher said...

Oh, I'm definitely jealous. . . sounds like you guys have some great fellowship on Tuesday nights! How gracious of you to open up your home like that! I think that one of the things most missing in many lives is that kind of real, gritty, intimate fellowship. What a blessing!!

Beverly said...

How true this is how jealous we get about things in our life that others are doing that we can't, but you know what God knows what, when, where each one of us needs to be in our life, so just hang in there and let God take you with Him

Beverly said...

I love your new blog layout. it's beautiful!

Amanda said...

I'm so feeling ya on this one Lynn!

I like catcher and beverly's comments. God knows it all... He's in control... so I'm here and not there, for a reason. :)

It's been frustrating to feel alone, or even left out, when it seems everyone else is having a party.

Being the bleeding heart that I am... of course that makes me think of others who might be right around me... wishing they weren't aren't the outside looking in.

Since God has changed my point of view on that... I haven't been short of people to love on. I sometimes feel I maybe a tad short of people loving on me... but He has blessed me a few deep relationships that love on me beautifully. He provides!

Love your Tuesday night stories! I'm starting with a new group tonight from church. I think I'll only know a few gals there... but I love meeting new people, so this should be fun. It starts at 9pm! But that's when we're all free from our duty, so that's when we're meeting!

Blessings!

Paula (SweetPea) said...

Lynn,
I am SO glad to hear someone verbalized what I too have felt. When I started hearing about the SheSpeaks, I decided to look into it and it was already full. I've only been in blog land (via starting with Rachel Olsen's online study) since March/April.

Hearing about the great things God has done stirred jealousy in me also. However, reading how many of the attendees had a set "purpose" or "call" on their lives, I became more at ease. I've only recently realized my deep desire to be heavily involved in some sort of women's ministry and the dream to write a published work has just come to my heart. So, I've settled some of my jealousy by realizing that it MAY have been too soon for me to attend. I may have been on information overload and that is not good for me. I may have also felt extremely inferior to the women of skill in attendance. I'll never know but WE always haven next year.
Are you going to put it on your calendar for then? I am and will attend assuming my work schedule will allow...that weekend is close to a heavy work load prior to the start of the term at the college I work.

Beth Moore will be in Lville Ky in Aug and that is ONLY 60 minutes from here. She has been sold our for some time but my church has applied to be a simulcast site. So, I will not only attend the simulcast but will be privied to the behind-the-scenes work.

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

First...

Love the blog look! You go girl. Now, I'm jealous.

Second...

I understand your feelings. I've had my own from time to time when I felt left out of all the going on's of various events. You'll just have to come next year to Charlotte. There's something for everyone, and you will be blessed by the interaction and fellowship.

Lynn, you are a fine leader and teacher of the word. Your blog brings blessing untold to many. Thank you for your words of real. Know that I love you and believe in all that you're doing to advance the kindgom of God in this season of our lives.

peace~elaine

Kelley said...

I understand all about jealousy. I have to fight that monster often! I'm sorry you missed the She Speaks conference but there is always next year. I figure if I start saving now maybe I will be able to afford to go again. And when I am forking out big bucks for an airline ticket I will be jealous of you who can drive there.

Thanks for the encouraging comments about my teenage woes. I will be praying for you and yours as well.

Love,
Kelley

By the way, I am working hard at not coveting your new look!

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

oooooohhhhh...

it reared again this morning...that jealousy thing. I thought about your post and had to come back and re-read again.

Good that I recognized it quickly.

peace~elaine