Thursday, May 8, 2008

Taking the Test... will I pass or fail?

Last night as I graded one of my children's math test... I began to get a little frustrated. It seems that something that we learned over a month ago was still causing trouble. There were two problems on there that went back a few lessons... and my child blew them both. It was something that we struggled through then... and it seems, that what I thought we learned just didn't stick. Now, math has always been a problem for this child. AND... I know that. But it didn't change the fact that I was frustrated at the thoughts of having to reteach this same lesson over and over. And to be perfectly honest.... it is simple stuff. There is no reason that my sweet one should have this much trouble with this... it is easy. So as I went into my little temper tantrum in my head... I sensed something totally different in my spirit.

My spirit sensed the Lord saying, "I know Lynn, I have tried to teach you the same lessons over and over too. Why is that??" I thought about the things that I just seem very slow to learn. I can trust Him in something... and then when something else hits... I have to be taught about trusting Him again. I can put Him first in my life for a period of time... then I allow "self" or other things to creep in... and I have to be taught that He is to be in first position all over again. I can rest in Him and His strength for a while... only to find myself trying to do everything again in my own strength... and I have to learn to do things in His strength all over again. Why is that ?? Does this happen to anyone else but me??

My heart suddenly soften for my sweet child. Of course... I have her best interest at heart. I want her to KNOW how to do this. I want her to have understanding. I want her to succeed with this. So yes, I will take the time today to reteach this to her. It will make it easier on her in the future. I guess that is why God is so gracious and merciful to me... He wants me to know the best way to "do" life. He wants me to know and understand Him. He wants me to learn the lessons that will make my walk with Him more successful. So over and over... we go through the same lessons. I hope that I can have the ears to hear and the eyes to see clearly what God is teaching me right now. Just like I hope that my child will have the ears to hear and the eyes to see what I am going to reteach her today.

Many times God uses my children to teach me about Himself. I long to be a parent like He is. He has such love and compassion for me. He is gracious and merciful to me. He wants what is best for me. That is what I want for my children... the best that God has for them. May I learn from Him to be loving, compassionate, gracious, and merciful, not just to my children... but all of His children as well.

So today... will I pass the test?? or will I fail the test?? It is up to me.

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elaine @ peace for the journey said...

With each day...with each opportunity, when we allow God to teach us...we get a little closer to passing the test. Even with your confession, you are getting a little closer to doing so.

Tests change with time. The more I get to know God, the pickier the questions can be. Most of my struggles come with the internal...within the place that can easily be hidden...

my thoughts. I'm learning to speak the sinful ones aloud rather than harboring them within. Confession is good for the soul, and I find that once their spoken, some of the mystery and intrigue surround them is diffused. That's my test as of late.

Thank you, Lynn, for your tender heart. For teaching your children, and for finding that extra measure of patience that is needed for the process. I don't always teach so well.

Happy Thursday and peace~elaine

BethAnne said...

I so relate to two ways....math was never my srong suit and God keeps having to teach me the same lessons over and over. At 35, you would think I would be a quick study with Him, but I might just be one of the slowest students in the class!!!

My cup runneth over... said...

Wow! What a beautiful parallel! My toes hurt after reading your post so I know this one particularly applies in my life. ; ) It is amazing the way the Lord can teach us through our kids, isn't it? And oh the patience with which He teaches us those same lessons, over and over again! Thank you for sharing this great insight. I love it!

Amanda said...

I've started saying my oldest daughter is a three foot mirror on feet God gave me to walk around and reflect everything I was supposed to be learning from Him! Whoever says God doesn't have a sense of humour didn't raise a child with their own personalities! :)

Kristen said...

Oh how I can relate to "not getting math" Once I hit Algebra - my brain decided it wouldn't work that way!

And oh how I can relate to God having to teach me over and over again. And like Elaine, the more I get to know God, the pickier the questions are. Sometimes I feel like I am taking God's SAT! (grin)

I love how the Spirit diffused that temper tantrum and allowed you to use the lessons He is teaching you to instruct your child - in math of all things!!! :)

God bless you - today - you taught your child because God taught you!

Melanie said...

Amen, sister! I'm with ya. I seem to be in a place where every time I get frustrated or critical about an area, God says you know, you've got a point; something does need to be done about that - I think I'll start with you. And boy, has He. Im not overjoyed with what He's showing me about myself, but I'm so thankful He loves me enough to not let me stay the way I am.

I also love what Amanda wrote. I've heard it put another way - We should listen close to what we say to our children because chances are God is saying the same thing to us.

God bless you, Lynn.


Kristen Schiffman said...

You are speaking my language! This post really speaks to my heart...thank you for it.
You can come to my Starbucks-Allowing Movie Theater ANYtime! lol. We can grab our favorite coffee from the nearest 'bucks (even if they toss in addictive properties! which let's be honest, they MUST!) and sit in movie watching bliss.
Is that not the single most genius decision any movie theater has ever made? ; )