Monday, April 27, 2009

Unexplained Emotions

God has truly humbled me by His mercy and grace. There have been so many times in the past that I have experienced His grace and mercy... but I don't remember any of those times having quite the same effect on me as it has the past couple days.

I have heard people say, "you don't know what I have done... God could never forgive ME". To which I say.... well.... God know everything you have ever done and thought about doing.... yet He is willing to forgive you.

I have heard other people say, "there is no way that person can go to heaven after what they have done..." To which I say... going to heaven has nothing to do with what we have done... and everything to do with what Jesus did!"

I have heard still others say, "I deserve better than this...." To which I often think... really?? I think the Bible says that we all deserve hell. So anything better than hell is more than you deserve.

BUT... since Saturday... I am saying....

"who are we that God would show us so much favor and save my son's life?" and then...

"how can I face others that have lost their children.... knowing that God chose to save mine?"

Now... this is a set of questions that I just haven't been able to answer to myself yet. Don't get me wrong... I know that God is sovereign. He can and does what He chooses... and what pleases Him. I know that He knows the beginning from the end... and His plan is perfect. BUT I just can't get over these humbling emotions. I have shed more tears over these questions that I have about the accident itself. Well... actually... I didn't shed any over the accident. I had immediate peace... and I knew that no matter what the outcome... I could trust God's plan. It almost seems to me that I could have accepted God's choice of "bad" easier than I can accept His choice of "good". It has left me speechless. I am in total awe of God that He would choose to save my son's life. That He would give him more time here...

These are certainly some unexplainable emotions that are swirling around in my head and in my heart. I am totally humbled by this. I know that God has a perfect plan. I know that all of this is part of it. I am totally surrendered to His plan... and I have come to understand... that I don't have to be able to explain it... or the emotions in my heart. But I do want to praise Him!

Father... again, you know my heart. It is so humbled by your sovereign choice to spare Jason's life. Please help me to get out of the way so that you can accomplish what you have purposed in his life and in mine. I praise you.... you alone are worthy!!

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9 comments:

natalie said...

Dear Friend,

Your sentence, "I am in total awe over God giving my son more time." Maybe that is God's Plan, for you, to experience His "awe". What a gift your family has been given, more time with your son. In time, Lynn, you will see God's Plan in this. I don't know you, but reading your entry, I can see our Heavenly Father shining thru you, and others will see how sincere you are.

How is your son, on the mend I hope?

My God is at work and I am excited to see His plans completed. Yes my heart aches for Malorie, but He is the lifter of my head and from Him comes help and comfort.

Did you email me your address, sometimes my email at work is funny, could you send it again. I'll send out the "Buckle Up For Mal keychain this week.

Grace 2 U,
natalie

Cricket said...

God is good...Maybe God is prepairing you for a work...

God bless you
Tessa

jcdisciple said...

I for one can't wait to hear about the answer to this question. I have come to understand anytime God spares life, creates life, or renews life it is for that life to bring Him glory...so we shall see won't we!!

Blessings Lynn and keep being in "awe" because that is exactly in the center of God's will!!

Laura said...

Lynn!

I have been MIA and missed this amazing story. I'm so sorry. I'm so glad your son is safe. I went back and saw the pictures on your last post.

A miracle. A true miracle.

I am speechless in the presence of His grace. How blessed you are.

Love,
laura

Paula (SweetPea) said...

I so know what you mean...humbled at how and why did for you what he didn't do for another. I've felt that...maybe not to the degree of almost losing a child. However, I've often felt that way over the selling of my house, my finances, everything. He's provided above and beyond and I wonder why do so many struggle with finances yet I came out with flying colors financially with so many aspects of both house deals. I feel guilty with having a nice (average) car when I see a car driving taped up. I feel guilty that my brother has a hard time with finances, vehicles, no job, with four kids even though it's been his poor choices. So, I understand the question and humility of "why me, God. I'm so undeserving". I say that exact thing in a post a couple posts back.

Praising the Lord. There most difinitely is purpose in this accident, purpose in his life spared. May your son see that and make something, anything different in his life b/c of this. NOt saying he's doing something wrong (as I don't even know him) but that anyone given an opportunity like this is just blessed...it's awesome to see the hand of God work (and spare life) and it should make us all want to do something in life differently b/c we've specifically see His hand/call on our life.

Runner Mom said...

Oh, Lynn! Bless your heart! I am just now getting to posts that I missed last week. Oh, God is SO good! THe pictures...He is faithful and merciful! He has a plan for your child..to prosper him. I am praising Him now that your "baby" is ok. I pray that he continues to heal quickly and that He too will give GOd the glory.

Much love!
Susan

natalie said...

Dear Friend,

Just wanted to let you know your son is still in my prayers for a quick recovery. Hope all is well with him.

Grace 2 U,
natalie

HIS Daughter said...

Oh you precious Girl! I have been MIA as well and I know how you feel, absolutely!

Your post was so heartfelt and so annointed by the Holy Spirit it just was leaping off the page in
3D!

I will write you e-mail,
Love you dearly,
Teri

Melanie said...

Wow, Lynne. I saw the pictures and it reminds me of some very similar pictures of the car I was in when I was 13.

I got pinned between the back and front seats and it took the "jaws of life" to get me out. I was hospitalized for 3 weeks recovering from a dislocated hip and nerve damage. And for the first time in my life, I prayed to a God I believed existed but did not yet know for help and healing. Two years later, almost to the day of that accident, I invited Christ into my heart.

Lynne, I'm praising God with you for His protection over your son and for His grace and mercy in ALL situations. When I remember my own accident, I can't help but think I am a living example of Romans 8:28 - "All things work together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose." I didn't even know God at that time but He had a purpose for me and He certainly does for your son and for you as well.

You are such a blessing and an encouragement.
Melanie