Saturday, August 8, 2009

The Rubber Band...

Have you ever just felt like something is missing?? Can't really put your finger on it, but you know there is something missing?? Well... I have had that feeling for the last couple weeks. I had been doing all the same things.... but it just didn't feel the same.

So... I spent last weekend at the Deeper Still event with Kay Arthur, Priscilla Shirer, and Beth Moore. Those ladies didn't hold anything back. They really brought a Word from God. I thought I had received "my" Word. Priscilla really spoke to my heart about believing that God is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us. (Ephesians 3:20) I took that as "my" Word. There are so many times that I just ask God for the bare minimum... when I could ask Him for more.... because He is more than able to deliver. Like.... when I pray that my children will all come to know Him. When I could be asking Him to fill my children with an unbelievable love for Himself. Does that make sense?? There are many more examples that I could give.... but that's not the purpose of this post.

Monday, while reading the Living Proof Ministry Blog... I look through some of the comments that others had written about the Deeper Still event. There right in front of my face was a truth that slapped me right in the head.... someone else's comment included the statements that Beth said..... "if you are wondering what is missing, it's the FELLOWSHIP" and "in-depth Bible study is not fellowship". I just sat there. I realized that was it. Now... if the rest of you are shocked at that.... I am so sorry. I wish that it wasn't the truth, but I do believe that it is. I hope that none of you have ever experienced that.... but the truth is the truth.

First of all.... how did I miss that?? I heard her say that. I was listening. I knew that she said that. It just didn't register in my mind. But Monday.... it sure did.

That is what it is. I believe that I have been missing the fellowship. I have been "doing" the stuff. The Bible study, the prayer time, church, you know.... the stuff. But.... somewhere, I think I left the fellowship on the side of the road.

So... I sat down and just poured out my heart to the Lord. Seeking His forgiveness.... and begging Him to refresh me. I felt like I wanted to do something to "remind" myself of His constant presence.... and His desire to fellowship with me at every moment. So... I found myself a rubberband and put it on my left wrist.

Well.... Monday night I went to work. In case you don't know.... I work in the Emergency Room at a local hospital. I put gloves on and take them off at least 100 times a day. At some point... I looked down and the rubber band was gone. I guess while taking off my gloves, I slipped it of too. I wondered.... "how long has it been gone"?? I couldn't remember feeling it come off. It happened without my noticing it. I thought about my fellowship with God.... it had slipped away without my noticing also. How does that happen??

I thought about the time that I spend doing my Bible study... even discussing it with my friends that come to study with me. I thought about going to church week after week. I thought about singing to my praise music. I thought about speaking His Truth to others. None of that is fellowship WITH Him. There is a huge difference. If I spent time learning about my husband, spending time in his car, or even talking about him to my friends.... BUT never spent TIME really communicating with him, listening to him, telling about the things that matter to me, sharing dreams and desires.... what would our marriage be like???

So... there is another rubberband on my wrist. I am trying to be more careful with it... but I am really trying to be more careful with my fellowship with my Lord. He is so worth it....

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6 comments:

Heart2Heart said...

Lynn,

WOW this hit me like a bowling ball but at least I ducked before any serious damage was done. I too was guilty of the very same thing, and even got to the point of avoiding people that weren't like me, the outcasts I like to call them, they didn't fit into my click of people I wanted to be seen with.

That's when God stepped in and showed me that He didn't come here to be seen with anyone less than the unworthy, he came to save the lost, not the ones that were doing ok. The ones that didn't need to be judged anymore, but simply accepted and loved for who they were.

That is how much my life has changed is in seeing those that were lost and in need of direction, could change so much it would change you completely forever and I believe that fellowship is like that.

It is learning to sit down with someone and really get to know them, to listen to them when they talk, and to forget about what others will think if they see you.

It's just being with them in that very moment.

Love and Hugs ~ Kat

Paula (SweetPea) said...

Lynn, this is so good. Just all of it. You first struck a chord with me when once again the scripture Eph 3:20 was put before me. That scripture holds a special place because that is exactly what He did in joining me and my beloved together. And while we are no longer together, I'm still believing in Him to do the Almighty and the impossible more than I can imagine in restoring us.

I've heard often about wearing a rubber band as a reminder to pray or to confess or just whatever need it is.

When I think of fellowship, I typically think of it in terms of other Christian believers/friends. When I first read this I thought of how I'm missing deep fellowships with deep friends...more than sharing just the goings ons of life but the heart of life and struggles. Then, as you wrote, I realized you were talking of fellowship with God. You are so right on about how that rubber band slipped off your hand without knowing it and our time/fellowship with God can slip away from us.

Wonderful post I will continue to ponder.
Love,
Paula

Tammy @ Cappuccino Confessions said...

My,my. . .so much to ponder here, Lynn! I too am in that place of knowing that something's missing. It's actually been missing for a long time, but with the busy-ness of life the quieter more unobtrusive things always seem to get neglected and ignored. I know that I need more fellowship with Him and with the body of Christ. . .but how to make this craziness slow down long enough to just do it?

Melanie said...

I couldn't agree with you more, Lynn. I keep getting so wrapped up in the busy-ness of life that I'm shocked when I realize how much time has lapsed since I spent any real time with the Lord. And yet that is time that, when I take it, is precious to me.

Tammy said...

Stopped by to say "hi and I'm thinking of you." Have a nice weekend!

sanjeet said...

It's just being with them in that very moment.
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