When God doesn't obey.....

Okay... I am way behind. I was suppose to post the winner of the giveaway this past weekend... and I am just now getting around to it... And the winner is...

Tammy from Not Mine but God's story

Tammy please send me your mailing address and I will get this little prize out to you.

On to what is on my mind today....

God is tricky sometimes. Okay, well... HE is really not tricky... but things about Him are. How do you prove to someone that God is good. Especially when He is not doing what they want Him to do??? I love it when Beth Moore says, "when God doesn't obey". And that is what we want isn't it?? We want Him to obey us. He want Him to do what we want Him to do. But fortunately.... God doesn't work that way.

And yes, I said fortunately.

If God did everything that we think we want Him to do... we would all be in a mess. Everyone would have more than enough money.... leaving us with no way to reach out and show God's love to others. Everyone would have perfect children... leaving us no way to teach them about forgiveness. Everyone would be healthy... both physically and mentally... leaving us no way to pour out our lives to help others, to show compassion and love in their times of trouble. And everyone would be saved and headed to Heaven... leaving us no way to serve God and carry out the great commission. And we would just be so self-sufficient that we would no longer need God. We just can't have what we want all the time. There are times that God has to say "no" to what we want. And even to somethings we think we NEED. It is all according to His calendar... not our watch.

I am glad that I can trust in my heart that if God says "no"... or "not now" it is because He can see the big picture and knows what is best for me and the ones around me. Not to mention for His Glory. I have been in some places that I would rather not be... but with God... knowing what I know about Him... and His character..... I can endure and persevere. I can lean on the verse in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 that says....

"Rejoice always, pray continually, and GIVE THANKS in ALL circumstances, for this IS GOD'S WILL FOR YOU in Christ Jesus."

I believe that God has a purpose in every circumstance that He allows me to be in. I can rest in that. I have come to realize that I don't have to like the circumstance.... but I can know that He is there... and it is His will for me to be there... for His glory. I am glad for the faith that HE has given me to trust in Him in times that seem bad.

But what do you do for someone that can't trust that??? Someone that just doesn't have that belief or trust into their heart yet????

That is where I am sitting today. I have come to the conclusion that I can't prove God's goodness to anyone. And I want to . I want to pour out some of what I have... into their heart so that they can trust too. Persevere. Endure. Grow. Believe. Trust. Wait. BUT I can't.

This morning I looked up every verse that speaks of goodness. They were all great verses.... but even they can't prove to someone that God is good. It comes from experience. It comes from walking the hard path. It comes from being in places that you don't want to be... and then coming out on the other side. Looking back. It comes from faith. It comes from studying God's Word and seeing the way He has dealt with man over time.

I have no answers. All I have is faith and trust.... How do you give it to someone else??

Any thoughts?? I'd love to hear them.

Seeing through someone else's eyes

My husband and I just celebrated our 22st wedding anniversary. We dated for almost 7 years before we got married... so we have been together for a LONG time. Like most married couples... we have had some really good times... and some really bad times. But to the Glory of God... we are still loving each other.

One thing that I really hate is.... I think I have stopped "seeing" him. What I mean by that is that I just go through my days... not noticing what he does. Let me give you an example.... I have noticed several times over the last couple months that I catch people talking about the "good things" he does.... that I didn't even notice. Several times I have caught some of my Tuesdays bragging on him. (my Sweet Tuesdays are my Bible study ladies) Like... he vacuums for me most Tuesdays before they get there... He will often cook enough food to share with them while they are there... He will run through the living room to catch the dogs so that they don't get in the way of our class.... (like he is not a distraction as he runs through.... but it is the thought that counts, right?). One of them has even pointed out that he needs to give lessons to other husbands...... I have realized that I don't really give him enough credit for all he does to help me. I don't always notice when he loads the dishwasher.... or empties it. I don't always notice that the clothes that I left in the dryer are folded and in the baskets... I don't notice how he seems to not mind at all that I don't cook him supper. And I don't seem to notice all the times that he makes tea. (which we discussed MANY years ago... and it is clearly my job.. AND I don't mind) The other day, one of my friends pointed out how sweet he was to cook us dinner and then clean up the kitchen while she and I went for a walk... the list seems to go on and on. Hearing someone else brag on your husband for something that you didn't even notice is quite sobbering. I don't like that... I don't mind at all when they brag on him... I just hate that somehow I have stopped seeing it. I am trying to watch for those things now... and give him the kuddos when he deserves it. And... I am sure that I still miss many opportunities to thank him.

I know the same is true for the "world" that I see. I don't always see it through God's eyes. I am looking through my eyes. The frustration. The inconvenience. The people. The needs. I filter them through my eyes... and my perspective. Not God's... which is what I need to be doing. How else can I try to make a difference in the world if I am not seeing things like God does??? I have really been thinking about this a lot lately. I need to put on my "God" glasses so that I can see more clearly.

I want to thank my husband for all the sweet things he does for me and our family. I want to let him know how much I love him and appreciate what he does. I want to stop looking through my eyes... and look through God's eyes. Then.... I think things will become much clearer.

Thanks Brad for all the things that you do for me and our family. You are a good man!! I am sorry that I don't tell you that as often as I should. I'm am blessed to have you!! And... thank you for putting up with me for the last 29 years. I love you!

AND... not only have we celebrated our wedding anniversary... this is my 100th post. So... in honor of this post... I will have a giveaway on May 28th. Just post a comment about something or someone you are thankful for. I can't wait to hear from you.

Moving like a snail...

There is just something about getting older. I weigh more... I don't have the energy that I used to... not as active... can't see without granny glasses.... and the list goes on and on. I had talked to God about this a while back... and knew that He told me to start walking some. But I just hadn't started it yet. This past week in my Bible study we were challenged to think of something that we had inquired of God about... gotten His instruction... and we were still waiting to obey. Well... He so graciously reminded me about walking. So a week ago... I started walking in my neighborhood. I don't do it everyday... my work schedule messes me up a couple times a week... but I have started.

The first day... I walked in silence. I could hear the birds singing and had time to think about lots of things. The second time... I walked and quoted my scripture memory verses. Then yesterday... I decided to use my daughters i-Pod. There is a great album on there of Francesca Battistelli. It was all I could do to walk... quietly. I wanted to dance. I wanted to jump up and down. And... I wanted to sing.... loudly.... like I do in the car. But... I like where we live... and I want to stay here. So I tried REALLY hard not to sing. I'm not sure if I succeeded or not. Anyway... while I was walking one of those days.... I saw a snail working to hard to cross the road.

I stopped and watched him. He was barely making it. He was moving so slow that I couldn't tell if he was making any progress or not. I thought to myself.... poor thing... he has to carry his house on his back. Then I tried to imagine how it would be if I had to carry my house on my back. There is no way I could stand under the weight of it. The more I thought about carrying things on my back... the slower I walked. Then I thought about all the things that I have carried on my back... that I didn't have to. Guilt. Shame. Unforgiveness. Jealousy. Struggles. Anger. Bitterness. Hurt. Man... it is amazing that I am still standing. My back should be broken in half by now. And... sometimes I would take it off my back... and just pack it away in my baggage... and just pull it around with me.

The thing is... God is more than willing to carry our "stuff" around for us. He calls out to us in
1 Peter 5:7...

Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about what happens to you. (NLT)

So why don't we do that?? And what about the times we do give them over to Him... and then we go back and pick them up again?? God has offered to be our caddy... to carry our heavy load for us.

Also in Matthew 11:28-30...

Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke fits perfectly, and the burden I give you is light".

When we weigh ourselves down with things that God would carry for us... we move slowly just like that snail. Our walk with the Lord may slow to a crawl as well. Our shoulders weren't made for that load... but God's were. Sometimes life is just too heavy.

Why, Oh why.... would we carry around a bunch of stuff we don't have to?? I so want to give all my cares and burdens to the Lord. I want His light load. I want rest for my soul. And something tells me that if someone were to offer to carry his house... that snail would take them up on it.

And... now I know why God was so insistant on my walking... He has so much to teach me.

Spiritual Banking....

I will be the first one to admit that I don't always do really well with my checkbook. There have been many times that I have forgotten to write down a debit card purchase... only to realize later in the week that I am overdrawn. Now.... I don't know about you... but if I am overdrawn... I really don't have any extra money to give the bank for the fee. But... they take it anyway. Which only makes my bad situation worse. My checking account has money going in.... and money going out.

Imagine my thrill this week while I was listening to a Beth Moore teaching CD on the book of Romans. She was teaching in chapter 4. This is what verse 3 says...

"What does Scripture say? Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness"

then in verse 9...

"Is this blessedness only for the circumcised, or also for the uncircumsied? We have been saying that Abraham's faith was credited to him as righteousness."

and yet again in Genesis 15:6

"Abram believed the Lord, and he credited it to him as righteousness"

She explained that the word "credited" is a banking term. It is added to our account. Like our spiritual checking account... picture that.... God making a deposit into MY account. I was thrilled to think of God filling out a deposit slip for my account. That was enough to make me jump up and down.

She then moved down to verse 7 and 8...

"Blessed are they whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord will never count against him."

The word "count" is also an accounting term. She explained that this verse tells us that our sins are not counted against us... they don't get deposited into an account. They are gone. There is not a "sin account".... only a righteousness account. Well.... that thrilled me again.

God is not making a list of our sins... they are thrown into the sea of forgetfulness. Sins that are confessed... God promises to forgive them. (1 John 1:19)

The only thing that gets deposited into our spiritual righteousness account is when we exercise our faith. It is our faith... that makes God get out the deposit slips and make a deposit into our account. Okay... I could grasp that..... BUT then she said....

"not even our righteousness gets deposited into the righteousness account..." Did you get that?? All the righteous things that we do don't even make a difference in our righteousness account. The only deposits that are made is when we exercise faith.

Now... I don't know... that might not do a thing for you. Or maybe you had already thought that one out before. If so, just pardon me while I get excited about it.

Think about it... when we exercise our faith... our account just gets bigger and bigger. When we sin... it doesn't decrease the balance in our account. When we "do" all those righteous things that we do... our account doesn't get bigger. Just faith... Believing God... Trusting God... makes our account get fatter.

Maybe if my regular bank account worked like that I could keep from overdrawing... deposit... deposit... deposit.... nothing coming back out. Don't you wish it really worked like that at the bank.

Unexplained Emotions

God has truly humbled me by His mercy and grace. There have been so many times in the past that I have experienced His grace and mercy... but I don't remember any of those times having quite the same effect on me as it has the past couple days.

I have heard people say, "you don't know what I have done... God could never forgive ME". To which I say.... well.... God know everything you have ever done and thought about doing.... yet He is willing to forgive you.

I have heard other people say, "there is no way that person can go to heaven after what they have done..." To which I say... going to heaven has nothing to do with what we have done... and everything to do with what Jesus did!"

I have heard still others say, "I deserve better than this...." To which I often think... really?? I think the Bible says that we all deserve hell. So anything better than hell is more than you deserve.

BUT... since Saturday... I am saying....

"who are we that God would show us so much favor and save my son's life?" and then...

"how can I face others that have lost their children.... knowing that God chose to save mine?"

Now... this is a set of questions that I just haven't been able to answer to myself yet. Don't get me wrong... I know that God is sovereign. He can and does what He chooses... and what pleases Him. I know that He knows the beginning from the end... and His plan is perfect. BUT I just can't get over these humbling emotions. I have shed more tears over these questions that I have about the accident itself. Well... actually... I didn't shed any over the accident. I had immediate peace... and I knew that no matter what the outcome... I could trust God's plan. It almost seems to me that I could have accepted God's choice of "bad" easier than I can accept His choice of "good". It has left me speechless. I am in total awe of God that He would choose to save my son's life. That He would give him more time here...

These are certainly some unexplainable emotions that are swirling around in my head and in my heart. I am totally humbled by this. I know that God has a perfect plan. I know that all of this is part of it. I am totally surrendered to His plan... and I have come to understand... that I don't have to be able to explain it... or the emotions in my heart. But I do want to praise Him!

Father... again, you know my heart. It is so humbled by your sovereign choice to spare Jason's life. Please help me to get out of the way so that you can accomplish what you have purposed in his life and in mine. I praise you.... you alone are worthy!!

God's mercy and Grace

Again... I am amazed at God's mercy and His grace. Today we went to look at the car that my son was driving when he had his accident... it is enough to make my heart sick. But.... knowing that God had his hand on this car as it slammed into a truck at 55mph or more... makes my heart sing. He is our protector. He is more merciful than we can ever imagine. Jason is doing fairly well. He is still extremely sleepy and groggy. He is weak and unsteady on his feet most of the time.... BUT he is alive. I thought that I would include a few pictures of the car. They are a little graphic.... AND the beer can under the car in one photo does not belong to my son... it is in the fence at the wreckage yard. Please take a moment and praise God that He chose to spare Jason's life. Please also pray that Jason will cooperate with God's purpose for this.


Father... I am in awe of you. You are so totally in control of all things. I cannot thank you enough for giving Jason more time here. Not only for me... But for him. Please have your way and your will with this. I will praise you forever. I am humbled... I have found myself looking up at your heavens in awe that you would do this for us.... more tears. I love you Lord.

Oh how good my Father is...

God has just been so good to me this week. I just need to take a few minutes and give Him some praise. Some of you may know that our computer has suffered for quite some time. After a severe cluster of viruses our precious... old... computer died. It just couldn't make it. I have been quite undone without a computer. It is amazing how much you can depend on something and not even realize it. So after at least a week or two with no computer... I was able to get a new one... and praise God... it is a laptop. Which is such a blessing for me today because....


Monday, my 18 years old son was in a bad car accident. While driving on a straight stretch of road... a truck ran through a stop sign into the path of the car that Jason was driving. (which was NOT his own car... that is a different story) Jason didn't even have time to apply the brakes. He hit the side of the heavy duty truck at approximately 55 mph or more. He was taken to our local hospital... but then transfered to the NeuroICU at another hospital. He has a skull fracture... and a epidural hematoma. (bleeding in the brain) I actually started this post while he was in the hospital several days ago... but didn't get finished until now.


Things like this bring you to a point that you have to choose... either to trust God or not.


I have chosen to trust God. I have walked with Him long enough to know that I don't have to like what happens... I just have to trust that it is part of God's perfect plan. His Word tells us that His plan is PERFECT. I don't trust God to do what I want Him to do. I just trust God.


This whole event has continued to bring back to my mind a sentence that I read in the book The Shack... no matter how you feel about this book... this sentence has the potential to change your thinking.


You have to give up the right to decide what is good and what is bad.


The world's eyes don't see things the same way that God's eyes see them. He sees the beginning from the end. He sees the character that comes from the suffering. He sees the result that comes from the trial. He sees the beauty that comes from the ashes.


A fractured skull... bad in the world's eyes.
Bleeding in the brain... bad in the world's eyes.
Being in the Neurosurgical ICU... bad in the world's eyes.


The truth remains... these may be good things in the overall plan that leads to eternity. Do I like that this has happened? No. Do I like that my son has had to go through what he has gone through since Monday? No. But I know that God can use it for His eternal purpose. That is what I am praying for.

God has been very gracious to my family this week. My son came home yesterday. He still has to take things easy for quite a while while his skull and brain try to recover from this injury. But... after seeing pictures of the car... it is an absolute a miracle that he is alive. I am completely humbled by God's goodness to us this week. Instead of bringing my son home... we could have been planning his funeral. Please pray with me that he will see God's real purpose in this. There is a reason why Jason is still here.... because by all appearences.... he shouldn't be. I'm trusting His plan.

My God is good. ALL the time.